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Welcome to Asstrion University: Revolutionizing Healing with Sub-Bass, Sub-Dermis, and Sub-Woofers

At Asstrion University, we empower healers with our unique approach to the lowest frequencies the human body is able to ignore. Our groundbreaking Sub-Bass Sub-Dermal Realignment Technique (SBSDRT)™ method uses a sub-woofer, a sub-dermal layer, and a practitioner who has been told to hum. The technique realigns the bass line of your ankles and restores your sense of rhythm, whether or not you wanted it back.

Our training teaches practitioners to find the bass, drop the tone, and let the client's knees take over. Whether you are transitioning to a full-time healing practice, expanding your current hobbies, or simply looking for a new reason to own a subwoofer, Asstrion University offers the knowledge, community, and low-end support you need.

GET STARTED
A sub-woofer pressed against a bare back in a treatment room

What does our method look like?

We find the lowest audible emotion in the client's lower leg. We hum at the emotion until it leaves the room. We then hum at the room until the room leaves, and we place the subwoofer on the knee. Low end, deep tissue, high expectations. Find it, Drop it, Realign it. Repeat until a neighbor calls.

Step 1

Locate the Low End

Identify the client's lowest audible emotion and gently ask it to wait in the car.

Step 2

Drop the Tone

Lower your voice until the client's ankles begin to hum in a key they did not agree to.

Step 3

Realign the Bass

Return the sub-dermal bass to its proper position, which our research team has verified is "somewhere near the knees."

Watch the Low End at Work

A four-minute demonstration of the Sub-Bass Sub-Dermal Realignment method. The sub-woofer is clearly visible. The client's ankle is not, because it was realigned into the floor.

Our Offerings:

Choose the level of low-frequency commitment that fits your budget and your household's tolerance for humming.

1. Sub-Bass Certification Program

$4,999 · 6 weeks

  • Asstrion University is the sole developer and trainer of Sub-Bass Sub-Dermal Realignment Technique (SBSDRT)™.
  • Includes live mentorship, weekly low-end coaching, and a laminated ankle upon graduation.
Learn More →

2. Specialized Online Courses

$199 and up · self-paced

  • Lower Your Voice, Lose Weight: a single sustained hum that our instructors insist is "basically a workout."
  • Anti-Gravity Abdominal Mixing: remix your midsection with sub-bass. Results vary by genre.
See them on the Courses Page →
A 40 Hz subwoofer behind a USDA Grade A rump roast on a white plate

Research and Development

We conducted our own research on the effects of a 40 Hz subwoofer on a USDA Grade A rump roast. The roast was placed on a white plate in front of the speaker cabinet and the bass was turned up. The results are shown above.

The roast moved. After the study, it was placed in a slow cooker with vegetables and spices for 8 hours and was delicious. Findings are preliminary, unfunded, and audible from the parking lot.

Insights and Innovation

Latest from the Asstrion University Blog

We explore the cutting edge of Sub-Bass, Sub-Dermis, and Sub-Woofers, share actionable tips, and offer deep insights into rapid response with low-frequency speaker cabinets.

September 19, 2026

Your Femur Is Listening

New evidence suggests the femur has been waiting for a bass line since birth. Please don't hum at it.